In Conversation with Milena Lukic : The Impact of Conscious Parenting & Meditation on Wellbeing!
Meet Milena Lukic, a devoted conscious parenting coach, yoga enthusiast, and meditation advocate based in London. Originally from Yugoslavia and raised in Vienna, Milena's journey from maritime lawyer to transformative coach was inspired by her own challenges and growth as a parent. Under the mentorship of Dr. Shefali, Milena embraced a new path, combining spiritual psychology with practical parenting strategies. She offers individual coaching, courses, and workshops focused on meditation and conscious parenting through various platforms including Bhuti London. Connect with Milena to explore how you can transform your parenting approach and personal well-being.
1.Tell us a bit about yourself…
My name is Milena, I am a lover of life, yoga, meditation, spirituality and inner growth; I consider myself to be an eternal student and a teacher of a wonderful message called ‘Conscious Parenting’. I live in London with my husband and my two children: Teo and Nia who are 8 and 6.5. I was born in (the then) Yugoslavia, a country that descended into Civil War in my early youth. My family and I left my homeland in the 90s, and I grew up in Vienna, Austria. That was my first awakening, seeing the fragility of life right before my eyes. I started developing an interest in different people, their culture, behaviour; I started to become an observer of life.
2. How did your conscious parenting journey begin and what inspired you to become a conscious parenting coach?
I grew up in a loving but traditional home setting. My parents, filled with (understandably) much fear around the war, provided a “prescription list” of what we - the three daughters - should do. And, as a “good girl”, I obliged. Good school academics, followed by an undergraduate and postgraduate degree in law, I qualified as a maritime lawyer in London. So, I was right at the centre of what I call “the matrix”. I was “successful” in the traditional sense of the word, I had a fantastic job between Paris and London, I married the “perfect” husband, we had money, a nice flat in central London and (what I thought was) freedom.
However, my inner experience did not quite match the outside perception people had… It was only when I had my first child, then my second that I started to notice my level unconsciousness, lack of inner power and wisdom. I noticed the toxicity of my culture (my American counterpart having returned to work 2 weeks post-partum!) and my own unhealed childhood wounds that were becoming quite visible as my babies were growing up… and so I started searching… searching for answers and “solutions to my parenting problem” …
After a few failed attempts at Gentle Parenting, Attachment Parenting and Traditional Parenting, I realised that I WAS THE PROBLEM, not the then my 1.5-year-old and my 3-year-old… they were just children, being children.
When I came across Dr Shefali about 4 years ago, I was instantly blown away by her message of Conscious Parenting. I started reading her books, taking courses and meditating with her during covid. This is when I started to heal, shed, grow as a mother and human and ultimately found my true self. Coaching has helped me heal my wounds, dissolve my false self, shed the many masks I didn’t even know I was wearing daily, align my outer world with my inner needs and ultimately thrive in my parenting and all my other relationships. This is what I now offer to my clients, I take them from the place of self-doubt and fear of their parenting journey, to the point where they are thriving in life.
3. What is conscious parenting?
Conscious Parenting is a revolutionary way of parenting that turns Traditional Parenting on its head. It takes away the spotlight from the child and places it right back onto us: the parents. The message is simple: our child is born pure, innocent, divine as a sovereign being with his/her own essence. We, the parents have the privilege to usher them through their childhood for a short while, having been the vessel that carried them. Our children are not to be fixed, shaped and moulded into mini-mes nor are they to become products of our desires, unmet needs, culture, beliefs and conditionings. They are to be guided lovingly in order to retain their essence and consciousness. And so, the brave, bold Conscious Parent goes on a quest of inner exploration, looking deep within, exploring our scars and wounds in order to heal so that we do not pass onto our child, unconsciously, that which was never theirs.
The Conscious Parent is a shapeshifter and a cycle breaker.
As a result, one is freed of the pressures, expectations and limiting beliefs passed on to us from others and is reignited with their true essence, their true self and purpose. That is ultimately the freedom we all seek.
4. How does meditation fit into this approach?
Meditation is simultaneously a practice and a way of being. If I was to summarise Conscious Parenting in one sentence, I would say it’s meditating throughout your parenting journey. It’s a state of being. It involves catching ourselves before we act upon our trigger; we aim to tap into that space and beautifully silent void before our ego reacts to our child’s behaviour and we calm our mind that constantly judges and projects. This affects the way we respond to and approach our child, as well as any situation in our life.
Meditation is the most essential tool in the practice of Conscious Parenting.
Through this practice, I have very much found myself in the spiritual realm. I have since qualified in Spiritual Psychology as well and utilise tools learnt in that practice to further elevate my level of consciousness and that of my clients. I fuse the practices of spirituality together with practical tools of psychology to obtain the desired outcomes.
5. How does well-being fit into this approach?
Well-being is, for us parents, simply put self-care. And we know that a number of us have been conditioned to be good girls/boys and to primarily look after everybody else. The issue, however, is that when we do not fill ourselves up from the inside, we are always going to parent from an empty cup. This often means that we are in an energy of depletion and therefore lack. Conscious Parenting teaches us to look after ourselves and be in the state of wellness, so that there is an overspill from which we can parent. When we are in that state, our energy is one of abundance, which leads us to inner fulfilment and thriving, which in turn permits our children to thrive in their life.
6. Can you share some effective strategies for parents to enhance their own and their children's well-being through meditation?
I would invite parents to start practising meditation regularly, even (or especially) if their children are with them. I don’t believe that we have to be in a special place, a special time or with a special cushion to be practising meditation (although it is of course lovely to be in nature or with an inspiring object next to you). There are wonderful books and apps that help us learn how to meditate both as adults and as children. One thing is for certain, our children learn by osmosis, so if they are not interested in meditation right now, do not worry, keep practicing, they will pick up on it and eventually join you.
7. How does conscious parenting improve the relationship between parents and children?
Conscious Parenting is here to guide us to a connective, relaxed, natural and authentic state of being with our child. We may need to repair and untangle some knots and for that I offer great tools and practices. Whether we are starting our parenting journey or we are in the midst of it (remember parenting never stops), we can always repair, reparent, enter a state of connection, compassion and empathy. The consequence is a sense of flow in our relationship with our child, moving away from strains and stresses that we may be facing currently.
8. What resources would you recommend for families interested in integrating meditation and conscious parenting into their daily lives?
All books by Dr Shefali, some of my favourites are: The Conscious Parent, The Awakened Family and The Parenting Map.
Dr Laura Markham - Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids
Dr Gabor Maté and Dr Gordon Neufeld - Hold onto your kids
9. Could you tell us about a memorable success story from your coaching that highlights the benefits of this approach?
I have so many! One of my favourites is about a client who was a pleaser his whole life, never really used his voice and this affected every part of his life, including his parenting. Through his dedication to the practices of Conscious Parenting, meditation and Spiritual Psychology, he is now more connected than ever to himself, his (now grown) children and is following his dreams and purpose unapologetically! It’s safe to say, he is powerfully thriving!
10. What is your favourite quote or life motto?
Our children must never work for our love, they must rest in it. - Dr Gordon Neufeld
In all kinds of ways - if we are willing - our children take us into places in our hearts we never knew existed. - Dr Shefali
11. What’s coming up in 2024?
A number of exciting courses: my live Conscious Parenting course; a bi-weekly in person self-healing circle for parents in Richmond; meditation and Conscious Parenting circles and of course my one-on- ones never stop transforming parents’ lives…
Milena offers one on one sessions in person in Kew, Richmond and via zoom. She also teaches courses privately and via Bhuti London.
To find out more, please contact Milena on milena@milenascoaching.com and follow her on social media @milenadlukic
